Relationship Improvement Center

1 Step You Should Take to Alleviate Anxiety When Meeting Women
By Joanne King

Has a similar scenario like this one ever happened to you before?

You’ve met a pretty lady on a matcher maker website and you’ve both planned to hook up at a local coffee shop to meet in person for the first time. You’re quite excited by this meet and greet as you think she is quite a hottie. But once you get there, anxiety kicks in and you feel your heart about to jump out of your throat as you head to approach her.

Yes, she is even more beautiful then the pictures she had shown you, this has in turn created even more anxiety, and as you go to greet her suddenly, your mind draws a blank, you look for some words desperately to pull from your mind to say to her, you’ve managed to stutter out a sentence and your not even sure if it had made any sense!

Well, maybe you haven t experienced that exact same scenario however I m sure you ve probably experienced something similar. That is just one of many examples of anxiety when approaching women.

The good news is, there are ways of eliminating this type of anxiety. I will show you one of the methods you can use right now in order to put a stop to your mind drawing a blank.

The first thing you need to do is to pre-plan some of your conversations with the lady in question.

The absolute best way to do this is to get a piece of pen and paper to write down what you plan to talk about. Writing it down, will help it sink into your subconscious so you’re less likely to draw a blank when you approach her. Also, after you have written down some topics you plan to speak with her about, read it over and over again, and play the scenario over in your mind.

1. Plan Your Greeting - Make sure you make eye contact and stand with good posture. Making good eye contact and standing with good posture will give her the impression that you have high confidence - women are very attracted to a man that is confident. And you will feel more relaxed when you the positive reaction she will give when you exert this type of confidence.

2. Write down some questions you would like to ask her. This is good for a number of reasons. It helps you get to know her better - this is quite an important detail if you want it to go further (possible relationship), you will begin to feel more at ease as you get to know her and she’s going to be as happy as a sperm whale is in squid infested waters because she gets a great opportunity to speak about herself. Women love talking about themselves.

3. Prepare to tell a story. Everyone enjoys a good story and it often triggers a memory for them to reciprocate one in return. Here is one of my stories that may help you trigger some memories for yourself. So you can begin planning some of your stories.

This back dates to when I was 5. I love telling stories about my childhood I was adventurous and really quite devious.

I had not long started school, (I wasn’t particularly fond of school when I first started, in fact I even told my mother on the first day of returning home from school that they didn’t need me to go anymore, I told her they already had enough kids in the class).

We were living in a house on stilts is what I’d call it. But back in those days, they were pretty popular (the-in-thing). There were two stairways. One was through the back door and one through to the front door.

My brother, Daniel was a few years younger then myself so he would wait at home for me each day by the front door, but would never see me come through it. So curiosity got the better of him and he asked me how I get inside the house after I finish school each day.

I told him I had magical powers and that I could walk through walls. He was totally amazed and asked if I could give him the power to walk through walls as well. I obliged, waved my hands around a bit and said “there, now you got the power too, what you got to do is run as fast as you can into the wall”.

You could just imagine his disappointment when he planted face first into the wall only to discover there was no magical power of walking through walls -)

© Joanne King - http://www.anxiety-panic-free.com/approachwomen.html

About the Author - Joanne King is a former sufferer of Anxiety & Panic Attacks. She is the author of two books “How to Overcome Anxiety & Panic Attacks” & “How to Overcome Anxiety When Approaching Women” She has helped other sufferers WorldWide to eliminate their Anxiety & Panic. http://www.anxiety-panic-free.com
Get your FREE e-book “The 5 Tell-Tale Body Language Secrets You Must Know about Women” at http://www.anxiety-panic-free.com/approachwomen.html

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She s Not Interested Body Language Cues
By Christine Akiteng

For one reason or the other, many women will not come outright and tell a man that they are not interested in him, this leaves many men confused — especially those men who are not very well tuned to women’s sexual vibes. And most men when they find themselves in such confusing situations fall into four categories:.

1. Those who try to give explanations and excuses:

“First dates are usually a little uncomfortable. Aren t they?”

“I am usually talkative and entertaining, but I had a tough day at work today”.

“You ll find me interesting when you get to know me”

2. Those who say things that reveal their insecurities:

“Don t you find short men sexy?”

“I can’t believe I am talking to an attractive woman like you”

“I believe that personality is more important than looks”

3. The majority who say things that reveal that they lack dating skills - or are Wussies:

“Maybe we should take it slow”

“We can be just friends”

“Maybe later”

“Here is my number, give me a call”

“E-mail me, sometime”

4. Then there are those who say some really stupid things that reveal poor upbringing.

It’s true that many women find it flattering or sexy or intriguing to be pursued by a hot, sexy man determined to have her. But there is a difference between “go-ahead-pursue-me” signals and ‘Leave me alone’, ‘Go away’, ‘Stop bothering me’ and ‘I m not interested’ signals.

When a woman is not interested, the signs are clear:

Eye Behaviour

1. Avoids making eye contact with you despite the fact that you are looking directly at her.

2. She knows that you are looking at her but she instead tries to make eye contact with someone else, look at the ceiling or to another point in the room.

3. Stares at you with no expression on her face except for the corners of her mouth turned downward with compressed lips.

4. Stares at you with a frown and her brow furrowed.

5. Stares at you with a sneer - the corners of her mouth twisted and her nose wrinkled.

6. Turns her head and looks away while you are speaking or engaging her to draw her attention.

7. Pulls her hair across the side of the eyebrow or face and look at the split ends.

8. Shakes her head and rolls her eyes or yawns.

Body Behaviour

1. Thrusts one or both hands into the pockets of her pants or skirt.

2. Places her arms and hands against the chest and inserted the hands through the gaps made near the armpits.

3. Whether she’s sitting or standing, she keeps her legs closed tightly together.

4. Tacks her feet under the chair.

5. Leans back on her chair positioning herself at a distance from you.

6. If you touch her, she quickly withdraws or pulls away.

7. She turns her back towards you and starts talking to someone else or pretends to be interested in an object - anything but you.

8. She positions both hands on her lips body tensed

And when a woman says ‘No’ she actually means “NO” except when she laughs while she says “No” and she gives you other facial expressions (raised eye-brow, licking or biting lower lip, come-hither side look or throwing her head back). If she displays three positive body language signals in succession (the rule of three) then it s okay for you to keep trying otherwise take a hint and walk away with your dignity still intact.

If you have some respect for yourself, women will have respect for you too.

About the Author: Christine Akiteng is an internationally renowned Sexual Confidence/Dating Coach and author of eBook: The Art Of Seducing Out Of Fullness?. Her unique approach to dating has helped hundreds create positive, constructive, honest and fulfilling relationships.

Christine s websites: http://www.torontosnumber1datedoctor.com and http://www.theartofseducingoutoffullness.com

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How To Get Clues That Your Partner Is Cheating (Part 2)
By Dale Mazurek

Cheating can be one of the most devastating things that can happen to a man or woman in a committed relationship. In the next few articles I intend to bring you up to speed on some clues that you can watch for if you have any thoughts that your partner may be cheating. This will be the second article on this discussion.

Let’s go back to the beginning of a relationship. What really happens before two people decide to get married? They have been dating and checking each other out. We all know that women do the choosing. Men respond to women’s signals and a relationship moves forward at a pace governed by the women’s appetite. So how does a couple who is totally in love and committed to each other end up in the predicament dictated by cheating.

1. You take your spouse’s truck to the grocery store. On the way there you put the sun visor down to keep the sun out of your eyes and you notice some phone bills. When you have a look at them you notice that it is a personal cell phone bill that has his office for a billing address.
2. You’re doing your spouse’s laundry early one Saturday morning. You go to pick up his jeans and his wallet falls out spilling the contents all over the place. You notice condoms fall on the floor. You instantly wonder why he has condoms when you are already on the pill.
3. You’re snoopy and don’t really mean nothing by it but you pick up your spouse’s phone to play with it. While fooling around you notice that your spouse has deleted all of his or her incoming calls.
4. You notice that he quickly deletes all his emails and his inbox is usually empty when before the emails used to accumulate.
5. He starts asking you questions about what you have been doing. He accuses you of things that have no merit. This is usually done out of guilt
6. You notice a lot of weird hypothetical questions coming from him. Questions like “Do you think it’s possible to love more than one person?”
7. This may seem trivial but you notice some of his old underwear missing and then you start to notice new underwear in its place. This normally wouldn’t be a huge issue except for the fact that you have always bought his underwear.

This is part one of a short series on clues that your partner is cheating. By all means you can’t take these clues as gospel. Before doing anything rational I would suggest waiting for the rest of the articles to come out and even then I would be careful before accusing someone of something you don’t have proof of.

Dale Mazurek

Dale has been happily married for 19 years. Between that and his studies he has become quite an expert at writing articles on the subject. You can see more of his relationship articles at http://relationshiptidbits.blogspot.com/ or check out 2 more of his very popular blogs at http://fishingtutor.blogspot.com/ and http://stcajo-readshortstories.blogspot.com/

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Still Single? Learn How To Meet The Woman Of Your Dreams
By N Young

For many men when they are single, meeting women can be a real chore. It almost gets to the level of becoming a “full time job” that you can’t quit if you want to maintain the hope of meeting the right woman. Going out night after night, going to club after club, facing rejection after rejection. This hard way of life can turn very frustrating.

And yes, people can sense that frustration on a man. Most men can, and women definitely can sense it. One thing you should remember is that you always project your attitude to the world around you at all times. This means that if you always look like you re frustrated and bored, people won’t get around you very easy because they will feel you may drag them down into your same mood.

But if you go out with ulterior motives to href=" http://www.askingplanet.com/DatingTips/1">meeting
women, like going to a club because there s a band there you want to see, etc., you put yourself in a position where you can enjoy yourself whether you meet women or not. This means you will project a “happy-go-lucky” attitude, though it’s hard to get into this mood all the time. And it s especially hard to do it at will.

That s why, if you re doing things you enjoy along with your “date hunting”, you won’t have to worry about working to feel good, because it ll come naturally to you. And you ll be able to carry those feelings with you wherever you go. A practical truth says: A guy who s having fun is infinitely more attractive than one who isn t. That is why the so called “fun factor” is very important when meeting women.

It is known that women are empathetic creatures by nature, they are more in tune with their emotions and the emotions of people around them. When you re having fun and projecting that attitude, the women around you will pick up on it and be drawn to you because they sense the pleasurable energy, as opposed to being frustrated and nervous, which almost always pushes others away from you.

If you want to learn more abut successful dating or are confused over when you should “make a move” on a woman you can learn much more here:

http://www.askingplanet.com/DatingTips/1

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Why Your Predictions Of A Gloomy Future Will Turn Out Quite Wrong
By Annie Kaszina

A male client came to see me recently looking tense and unhappy. In the two weeks that I’d been on holiday he had twice broken up with his girlfriend and twice got back together with her. That made a grand total of some 26 break ups in a relationship lasting less than 3 years.

He hated himself and hated allowing himself to get drawn back into a relationship that clearly isn’t working.

He described how friends and family are losing patience with him, how sick they are of hearing about his on-off relationship.

Maybe this sounds faintly familiar.

He said: “It’s so stupid of me. I know that I shouldn’t.”

I said to him that it’s not about being stupid, or weak, or pathetic.

What it is about is forgetting that there are always alternatives.

When you are in a bad relationship you forget that there is a whole world out there. More importantly, you forget that there is a place for you in that world. A place that can be as good as you want it to be and choose to make it.

On many occasions I’ve said this to clients. Only to have them gaze at me blankly, clearly convinced that I had missed the point. Their point was that they had just fallen into the last ditch, were up to their eyes in mud and would, very likely, never clamber out of it again. In any event, the mud bath was their future.

It was only last week that I discovered quite why this sorely limiting belief is so powerful and - and persistent.

Enlightenment came in a book called “Stumbling On Happiness” by Professor of Psychology Daniel Gilbert. Professor Gilbert uses scientific research to prove that human beings are pretty hopeless at imagining the future. Yet we believe, wrongly, that we are rather good at it.

Gilbert writes: “Because predictions about the future are made in the present, they are inevitably influenced by the present. The way we feel right now [’I'm so unhappy’] and the way we think right now [’That’s the way it is for me’] exert an unusually strong influence on the way we think we’ll feel later.

“we tend to imagine the future as the present with a twist, thus our imagined tomorrows inevitably look like slightly twisted versions of today

“Because it is so much easier for me to remember the past than to generate new possibilities, I will tend to compare the present with the past even when I ought to be comparing it with the possible.”

Abused women, more than most, having been through so much trauma, lose sight of the possible - which is one good reason why they feel unable to make the decision to get out.

The mechanics of getting out can be extremely difficult. The emotional decision to get out and stay out could be less anguished than it so often is.

Gilbert duly poses the question: How are we to predict the future more or less accurately when we are so poor at imagining it?

His answer is to learn from the experience of other people who have already trodden that path.

Gilbert says: “It doesn’t always make sense to heed what people tell us when they communicate their beliefs about happiness, but it does make sense to observe how happy they are”.

And if you find yourself objecting: “But I’m not like other people, my situation is not like anyone else’s”, Gilbert disagrees. His viewpoint is this:

“Our mythical belief in the variability and uniqueness of individuals is the main reason why we refuse to use others as surrogatessurrogation is a cheap and effective way to predict one’s future emotions, but because we don’t realise just how similar we all are, we reject this reliable method and rely instead on our imaginations, as flawed and fallible as they may be.”

When you look at it like that, any and every woman who has survived abuse and gone on to build a happy and successful life is evidence that you can too.

(C) 2006 Annie Kaszina

Annie Kaszina Ph D, is a coach and writer who has helped hundreds of women to rebuild their confidence and their life after an abusive relationship. Annie is the author of “The Woman You Want To Be”. This ebook will teach you how you can love yourself first, so that you can create strong self-belief and build the fulfilling future you re looking for on firm foundations.

To find out more and sign up to Annie s free bi-monthly ezine visit http://www.EmotionalAbuseRecoveryNow.com You can email Annie at: annie@EmotionalAbuseRecoveryNow.com

Feel free to reprint this article on your website or in your ezine, just include the resource box.

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