Relationship Improvement Center

Bad Relationships - 3 Keys To Never Having One
By Anthony Willis

When people to talk to me about their relationships and ask me for my honest opinion, some times I find myself hesitant to say my initial reaction to their question! This question is usually preceded with an explanation, (”their’s”), of what happened, meaning for the most part, why the relationship is failing.

The conversation may start off like this, for instance “Hey Ant/Tony do you have a minute?” My reply is “Of Course, What’s going on?” “Well it’s my relationship with [insert name here], we’re not getting along with each other! “We’re constantly arguing, I’m not happy, and he’s not happy, what am I to do?” “Why won’t he just listen?” she says with hurt and disgust in her voice. Then, while standing there trying to take it all in, she asks for my honest opinion! Once again I say that I’m hesitant because I understand the following things about her question:

I’m only hearing 1 side of the problem relationship

She’s emotional and her judgment could be clouded by the emotions

She never stated blatantly where she was wrong in the situation

As these are all very good reasons to be hesitant when giving advice to a person about their relationship, because to respond instantly and base your opinion solely off what only one person says/feels is not wise at all. You could lose a friend, or damage a relationship further. The breaking up of the couple is for them to decide.

However, the best way to be a friend or counselor is to cause the person to think and act. Why should I try to get a person to think? Better yet, you may wonder, “How do I get a person to think, and think about what?” Well this is the first step:

NEEDS &amp WANTS

Sometimes if not most we confuse to the two! A need is something that has to be in your life in order to sustain it. We all need water, clothing, shelter, and a companion! A want is a desired thing because of some surface characteristic hair, shape, color, smell, etc. The things for her to think about, or consider is when you met this guy were you attracted to him because of “him”, the person, or was it because you thought he was nice looking? He had a nice job or car?

If you were attracted to him for him, then chances are you have a good relationship but it’s going through a tough stretch so you have to just tough it out until things ease up. Other than that you two began with the proto-typical “bad relationship” start. The bad relationship start is easy to detect, and avoid. Now we’re all human so attraction to each other is going to be apart of the process. The key thing is to not stop there. Make it your business to get to know this person. To test your feelings truly, think of it this way, if this person was sick, badly hurt, imprisoned, or maimed even would you care for him? The natural response is to say yes, however could you do it for 2 yrs.? 5 yrs.? 10 yrs.? These are very tough questions to ask yourself, but if you stick with a person through the extreme situation, surely you can deal with the second step of avoiding the “bad relationship”!

COMMUNICATION:

If you’re reading this and you are not in a relationship currently, I’m pleading with you to apply these principles at the beginning of your next relationship! Establishing solid communication between the two of you will save you time, headaches, and pain-it is so necessary I can hardly stress it enough. To amplify its’ importance think of it like this, especially for those in a relationship good or bad if you work to get good &amp honest communication you can move the relationship up for Step 1. To make that clearer let’s say you’ve in a relationship 3 or 4 years but you all rushed into it and now you’re having problems, after problems! He’s not talking to you, and you hardly try to talk to him, and this pains you to the point you thinking of leaving the relationship altogether! Okay, now you’ve come across this article and you want give these steps another try, but with a renewed focus this time. I’m saying that since the two of you have been together for a considerable amount of time, it is better to focus on communication because when start asking the right questions you will essentially cover everything in Step 1. What are the right questions you may ask? How’ll about asking him what he wants from the relationship? Ask if he realizes the difference between needs and wants? If not explain it to him and give him some time to get a grasp of what you are saying. Effective communication will cover Steps 1 &amp 2, for those who already in a relationship, and want to avoid it becoming a “bad relationship!”

This leads us to Step 3

PARTICIPATION:

One of the most crushing blows to a relationship is the lack of participation. Being selfish has very rarely done anything to help a relationship! Does your relationship has this feeling He doesn’t want to be involved with things you like and you don’t want to do the things he like, and both of you are strongly standing on your respective points! But really what’s the “POINT” here? Isn’t it to build a relationship together? Don’t you have to be together, in order to “be together”? Can’t spend at least a little time together, outside of sleep!

Here’s what I’m saying, if you don’t have it in your heart to do some of the things he like to do just because that’s what he likes, then there will always be a problem in your relationship! He has to do the same for you as well! You may not like what he likes, but being supportive works wonders for the bonding of the relationship. You make sure that he does this for you also! Trust me any relationship that you are in or see others in that have only one person trying to keep it together, are on the “bad relationship” road! It may even work for them, but the stress and strain that they will go through may not be bearable for the average person out here. You can avoid this stress and strain by establishing that balance for the two of you.

So keep in mind to make sure the both of you support each other enough so no one feels like they’re the only one making an effort. Also, I must put this disclaimer here I am not, I repeat I AM NOT implying that you help him do something illegal, or that he helps you do something illegal! This is simply an attempt to give you a path to a better relationship through 3 easy steps that you can apply at any and every point of your relationship. Put them into effect now, and you will have laid the foundation to never have a “bad relationship” again!

By Anthony Willis
Anthony Willis works as a relationship consultant to friends and colleagues. He has help many save struggling relationship of people from various levels society.
He can be reached at ants_articles@yahoo.com

Your-relationship-advice.blogspot.com

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Marriage is Not a Fairytale Wedding
By Maria Romain

Are you in a long-term relationship and in favor of getting married one day? Are you currently engaged and anxiously awaiting the moment that you will walk down the aisle? Are you a newlywed basking in your honeymoon bliss? If you can answer “yes” to any one of these questions then this article was written just for you. The purpose of this editorial is to communicate the differences between a marriage and a wedding ceremony. As obvious as this may seem, there are millions of people who have not mastered this concept.

The idea of getting married is favorable. However, marriage far exceeds the work that it takes to plan a fairytale wedding. A major mistake that men and women make is confusing the wedding with the marriage. Marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman who have vowed to spend the rest of their lives with each other. According to those joined in Holy Matrimony, a marriage is supposed to last until “death do you part”. A wedding ceremony, on the other hand, is an event that commemorates the marriage between a husband and a wife. It can lasts anywhere from 15 minutes to a few hours. Ironically, some people spend more time and money on investing in a fairytale wedding than they do on investing in the marriage itself. Anyone who has had experience with being married knows that marriage is a full-time job. At no point in time can you choose to go on vacation from being married without running the risk of losing your spouse.

A wedding ceremony is a wonderful notion. In fact, the planning phase of a wedding can draw a couple closer together. Making the decision on what type of flowers to use or picking out the perfect wedding favors can be exciting. There is nothing wrong with wanting to have a fairytale wedding. The key to having a fairytale wedding is to allow your marriage to reflect what you vowed during the wedding ceremony. The divorce rate might not be as high if more people could grasp this concept.

For those of you who would like to get married or are in the process of getting married, hopefully you will be encouraged to plan your dream wedding along with taking the time to invest in your marriage. The best way to approach marriage is by learning how to be successful at being married. Premarital counseling is an effective way to educate couples in this area. As for the newlyweds who have already experienced the joy of walking down the aisle, continue to reflect on that special moment, but work hard to make your marriage last forever. You can empower your marriage by reading books, attending seminars, or going to counseling. Knowing the differences between a wedding and a marriage is a great start to a happily ever after.

Maria Romain, creator of Academic Success Management, Inc. is an editor for HQ Wedding Favors. A family owned company that offers the most unique wedding favors that fit any budget. Find more articles on wedding ideas by visiting today.

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The Danger of Online Dating
By Sue Taylor

The danger of online dating as a title sounds very off putting. Online dating can in fact be a great option as our lives become more hectic, however it is important to realize that online dating can also have possible downsides. With common sense, these dangers can be alleviated.

If you are looking for a prospective partner the process of meeting somebody is not always easy. Today more and more people are turning to the internet and online dating services to search for that elusive person to have a relationship with.

The internet provides us with millions of people to choose from as we are not limited to our own community. We can search for the perfect date all over the world. The challenge may come when it is time to meet the prospective partner or date if they live on the other side of the world but as the saying goes, “love will find a way”.

There are of course issues in online dating in that need to be aware of. For example, there is a well documented case which happened back in 2005 involving an American man. He was tricked into paying out $40,000 in supposed medical expenses for his internet date in Russia. He was the victim of a very well organized scam. He had been conversing with his online date for several months with no suspicions whatsoever and it was only when he planned on visiting his date that the scam was put into place. He did eventually manage to get some of his money back but only after spending more to hire private investigators.

How do you avoid some of these online dating dangers?

Firstly use common sense. Does the prospective date appear almost too perfect to be true? This may very well be the case. Check out the others details as thoroughly as possible and if you know anyone who may live in the vicinity of the date, get them to check also. We don t mean to spy on people but just check what you can. Maybe they already have a partner and are only looking for a casual relationship?

Engage the online date in a conversation via the message service. This way you can possibly pick up on anything that does not seem right. It is not as good as an actual voice conversation but it is a start. Later you should of course speak to the date and then eventually meet them.

If you do get to the point of actually meeting up with the date there are several steps that you should follow for your own protection and if the other person doesn t agree to taking the same steps, you should probably be suspicious of their motives.

It is advisable to meet in a public place and preferably during daylight hours. What a great idea to meet for lunch at a nice cafe or restaurant.

Let someone else know where you are going to be and what time you expect to be home. If things work out really well with your date you can always ring your friend and let then know if you are going to be late.

Let your date know what you will be wearing or have some other distinctive way that will allow them to recognize you. This should not be necessary if the profile on the online dating service included a photo.

While you are on the date relax and be yourself and also let your prospective partner relax and express him or herself. It may of course start off a little awkwardly but if you both relax this initial reticence will disappear.

Follow these basic rules and you will overcome some of the potential negatives of online dating and meet the partner of your dreams!

CoupleMe.com is a safe, fun and effective way to meet other singles online. Join the millions of others who are developing quality relationships at this very moment. Don’t delay, sign up today for free online dating at CoupleMe.com.

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How to Flirt with Girls the Right Way
By Fabricio Cruz

How to flirt with girls is no easy task. It if was, you would not be reading this right now, you’d already know how to do it Let’s take a deeper look into how to flirt with girls the “right way.”

Look, I work with tons of guys and I know that most of them no absolutely nothing when it comes down to flirting with girls. Either they overdo it and come off like a horse’s butt, or they don’t do enough of it and fail to create that sexual tension. These guys are always referred to as the “nice guy” and have many girl “friends” and experience little to no romance.

If you’re going to have any success in flirting with girls, you need to relax! Yes, I said you need to relax and not be so uptight. Girls sense when you’re too uptight and they will lose interest faster than you can say your next word. You don’t have to be a brain surgeon to get this!

When you feel uptight, just take a look into her eye and picture her falling asleep. It does sound weird to think that, I know but when you see her beautiful face falling asleep snoring like an old lady she tends to not look so important anymore. What I’m trying to do here is to get you to realize that she’s not all that important to you. So why are you going to flip out in her presence?

Being a flirt means being playful. There’s a lot of stuff out there about the importance of being “cocky.” Honestly that idea is well played out. All the guys that I’ve talked to tell me the exact same thing:
“When I get cocky with my girl, she loses interest. I always look like a jerk!”

You see. That’s I’m not telling you to act cocky. The way to be is playful. Just teasing her is great. Treat her with humor, like she’s some nerd in high school or something. Bust on her when she does something dumb. Just be sure to smile when you do this or you’ll really be seen as a jerk.

Here’s one obvious tip never under any circumstance make fun of the way she looks. Compliment her on her look, but never joke about it. Just joke with her on her behavior - that’s when the fun starts, but stay away from any negative comments on her appearance.

The killer combination, as I like to call it, is to be playful right along with being a gentleman. Open the door for her, pull out her chair, help her carry things, giver her help with her jacked, all of those little things do them!

Be as nice and courteous as possible to her. Just mix it in with the teasing and playful combo. Having both of these qualities in the mix will allow you to be the gentleman most girls want. Without that you’re just her friend, the nice guy. No thanks!

You come out the big winner by showing her that you’re fun and a gentleman. It’s what’s known as push and pull. I go into more details in my book as to how to get her attention and how to flirt with girls properly. For now, just remember that when you tease her you push her away (mentally), then when you are a gentleman you pull her towards you. This creates the sexual tension you’re looking for.
As I mentioned, sexual tension is created when you push and pull your girl. To have success flirting with girls means that you know how to create tension. You know when to kick it up, and to bring it down, when to drop the whole thing all together. It takes time to master it and just focus on these principles to speed up the process:

You must relax - one of the biggest turnoffs for women is a guy who’s uptight. Just relax and you’ll be fine.
You must be playful - poke fun at her, tease her but do so with a smile so she knows it’s just you being playful.
You must be a gentleman - open her doors, give her a hand where you see fit.
You must have confidence - relax, be playful and a gentleman do so with confidence and you’ll help her feel comfortable.

Take my advice above and become the man that women want! You’ll have the killer combination that girls want. You want to know how to flirt with girls? Now you know! Go get ‘em.

Learn how to flirt with girls! Fabricio Cruz will show you how to flirt with girls, regardless of age, looks or income! Check out his site for a free preview at http://www.turbochargeyourdating.com right now!

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Will They or Will They Not Cheat?
By Angela Renee

Have you ever told your partner or spouse how you would feel if you found out they had been cheating? Maybe your spouse or partner will never cheat on you! Are would they?

Ok, maybe they want cheat. But you must face the fact that your spouse or partner will be tempted with the “grass is greener on the other side” especially after all the responsibilities of parenthood have set in and things are not so carefree anymore. And you will be faced with that same temptation unless both of you have suddenly become really, really an eye sore.

Who knows? They may be attracted to the same thing you find attractive about your spouse or partner in the beginning and now! By realizing this now, depending on the type of relationship you are in, not only can you make this one of the healthy topics to discuss but you can possibly get back some of what was lost. You know before all of the many responsibilities set into everyone s life.

Cheating causes so much pain and grief and if you have not experienced it firsthand, take a look around - It affects everyone! Saying no requires at times the willpower to walk - no run away, the action to back up what you say and truly caring about your partner or spouse feelings.

Do not become obsessed with this topic but talk about things like this before it happens. Talk about how the both of you would feel and what would cause the both of you to entertain the thoughts of cheating. Would it involve something physical like not receiving enough affection or something emotional like not feeling appreciated or loved? You want facts that will help you both understand what your needs are so you ll NOT look elsewhere.

We seek love and acceptance in our society and this does not change once we enter relationships. We want it regardless of the changes we grow through with our body and spirit. So when we do not feel we are getting these things from the ones we love, we seek it from others! If you do not want to make the topic about the two of you just yet, talk about cheating in relationships in general before the opportunity presents itself to either of you.

Angela Renee is a wife, mother of three and a writer who s
passionate about helping “Every Day Become A Mothers Day.”
With her straight talking yet compassionate manner, she works
through her articles at http://www.worlds-best-mothers-guide.com
to assist all mothers with every single aspect of their life
as a woman, as a partner in a relationships, as a mother and more.

© Copyright 2004 - 2005 Worlds Best Mothers Guide. All Rights Reserved. Content Property of Worlds-Best-Mothers-Guide.com.

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