Relationship Improvement Center

Why She Flakes, and How to Prevent It
By Stephen N.

Ever find yourself waiting for your “late” date at the restaurant, wondering if she is even going to show? Or, perhaps you step out of the shower excited to see a woman that evening, only to find a voicemail from her stating that “an old friend is in town”

There is nothing more frustrating for men in the dating game than when a girl flakes on us. For some odd reason, some women feel they have the right to agree to spend time with us, only to cancel at the last minute - or, worse, they don’t even show. This is flat-out rude and insensitive.

But, within this there is a real principle at play that we can learn about. So, lets try to discover some ways to prevent this going forward.

What causes flaking??

The most elemental reason women flake on guys is that they feel a lack of trust for him. I used to be victim to this OFTEN. Living in LA years ago, I used to go out a lot with my friends. We’d dress like rock stars, and regularly ended up with the most attractive women in the club. However, our vibe was so “player” they’d end up never returning our calls, much less hanging out with us. It was obvious we were looking to hook-up. Most women want to be with guys who are both cool and fun to hang out with, but who are also not only interested in sex.

If your primary means of meeting women is via a cold approach or in clubs and bars, you’re going to have to work to win her trust. Clubs and bars are sexually charged environments, and normally interactions in these places are laced with sexual energy. This is not bad, and can be in our favor. However, what most guys forget is that meeting women in these environments demands a focus on trust - in other words, build a connection with her, learn about her, and tell her about YOU.

9 times out of 10, the girl who flakes is the one whom you barely know. You met briefly at Starbucks, or on your way out of the party, or on the loud dance floor. She probably thinks you are attractive, but feels a bit reluctant to carve out serious chunks of time to see you because she has no idea if you have anything to talk about!

From her point of view, she imagines this attractive guy with whom she might have to endure a seriously awkward and uncomfortable time. What would YOU do? Right, you’d cancel in a flash.

So, what are some ways that we can now build trust and connection, to virtually remove “flaking” from our vocabulary? Well, here are my thoughts:

1) Talk to her in two different locations. So, if you are in the line at Starbucks, be sure to chat with her again (even if you’ve received her number) at the cream and sugar station. Or, if you are at a rowdy bar, ask her to join you at another quieter spot so you can hear each other better.

2) Don’t just flirt with her, talk about yourself. Most guys slip into “asking questions” when they feel nervous or don’t know what to say. This is a HUGE turn-off because you’ve now delivered the responsibility for the conversation to HER. You’ve just subtly told her you are insecure and have poor social skills. Instead, simply and smoothly, tell her about your life, your day, your interestswhatever. I have a concept I call baiting, where I can talk about anything and lace the conversation with details about my life. In brief, as you talk and flirt, be sure to fill-it with things like, “being from the west coast” or “I used to manage tours around the world, and once when I was in” or “I lived in LA before moving back to NYC, and we’d often” See what’s happening here? I am filling the conversation with FACTS about my life - she then doesn’t have to ask questions of me, I have answered them for her in advance.

3) Mix her in with your social circle. If you are out with friends, introduce her to them. The most common way people meet each other is via social circle. So, by mingling her into yours, you’ve introduced this connection through the back door. She’ll see and meet your friends, and further confirm that you’re a cool guy. By doing this, she instantly feels more comfortable and trusting of you as you now fit into a CONTEXT other than “the guy I met at the bar last night”. You now have a full social life in her eyesa golden egg in the world of meeting and dating women.

So, if you can handle these three areas when meeting women, you will see your flake-ration plummet and hopefully disappear.

Good luck to you all! And email me with any questions for the mailbag.

Best,

Stephen Nash

Cutting Edge Image Consulting

http://www.ceimageconsulting.com

Stephen Nash of Cutting Edge Image Consulting (CEIC) is author of the book How to Get A Girlfriend: The Seven Essential Skills for Attracting the Woman of Your Dreams and Natural Attraction, 7 CD Audio course on image enhancement and dating for men. Learn how to become a man that s magnetically attractive to women of exceptional quality and how to build positive and healthy relationships through charisma and self-image enhancement.

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Cheating Spouse Revenge
By Fraser Wheaton

In this article, we will discuss cheating spouse revenge and taking action on getting revenge on a cheating spouse. We all know that spouses, both male and female can be cheating whores. In fact, your spouse could be cheating on you this very second. How to tell if your spouse is cheating is a topic for another guide. Here we will discuss what to do with the cheaters when they have the sheer lack of self respect, respect for you, and the utter selfishness of not being able to keep their pants up!

First of all, make sure the suspected cheater has actually been cheating. The last thing you want is a big scene or even a divorce over an affair that never occurred. Some extra leg work now will avoid headache and stress if you get it all wrong.

Once you’re certain that your spouse is cheating, it is now time for cheating spouse revenge. You need to stay calm, if you’re too angry, you will mess it all up, stay level headed, or you’ll end up in a drunken state and you’ll just embarrass yourself. We don’t want this you want to embarrass the cheaters for their betrayal and utter selfish behavior.

After you’ve taken some time to come to terms with what has been going on, you need to cook up a plan of action - Take your revenge on a cheating spouse.

Lets rule out murder for now, although the thought may have crossed your mind, and to be honest, its understandable if its been a long lasting relationship, family members have grew close, and there are children involved, lets not go this far, we don’t agree with killing, and I am sure “Jerry Springer” wouldn’t agree with this either.

What we will call upon for our cheating spouse revenge is sheer embarrassment. What you need to do is pretty simple and it should work if planned out right. Wait until your spouse is with a group of friends or amongst a group of so called important people to them. You could even do this with family members. Take a photo of 2 nude people, just go to a soft porno site to do this, get the picture developed, and make sure it looks half way decent as a fake photo.

Now, once the cheating spouse is with these people, its time for attack, go over accuse them of cheating, of course, the spouse will deny it, just like the cheating little dogs they are, however, you have proof, yes, now wave this proof around yelling I have proof, I have proof, however, be a little clever here, do not let anyone see the photo head on. Now, the time has come to walk out from where ever the spouse is, leave them shocked, embarrassed, and humiliated. Perfect.

Another way of getting revenge on a cheating spouse, one that we class as extreme, but it is probably one of the most dramatic ways of showing that you really don’t care is to simply cheat back, but do it in style. Plan for your spouse to be there when they see you do this, get them to come home early, whatever it takes, make them walk in on you having a threesome, bingo, nothing more to be said on this, its going to be pretty upsetting seeing your partner making it out with multiple partners. When they attack you for this act, remember, it wasn’t you who broke the trust and love!

Do you think your spouse may be cheating on you?

You can get all the helpful cheating spouse advice you need at:

http://www.CheatingSpouseAdvice.com

All Rights Reserved Worldwide. Reprint Rights: You may reprint this article as long as you leave all of the links active
and do not edit the article in any way.

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It’s All Showbiz
By Vlady Peters

I remember reading about a society wedding which was a cross between a Hollywood production and a Roman Orgy.

The guests were flown in on private planes, with a private plane strip designed just for such an occasion. They began to arrive several weeks before the wedding itself, so they could enjoy the various pre-wedding parties, very much in the way conference organizes entertain their attendees with trips and amusements in between the business sessions.

The wedding itself took place in the gently sloping grounds of a mansion sitting on the banks of a river with its own dock. The groom arrived on one boat. The bride on another, each boat disappearing as soon as they delivered their cargo. Stationed in the water, on some sort of hidden platform, was a whole orchestra, the music floating towards the bank were the guests chattered, while plied with champagne and nightingale tongues or whatever.

Reading about all the excesses, on one hand there might be a pang of envy of what some people can afford. Or self-righteous indignation about the starving millions, on the other.

While there are many couples who let themselves go when planning their wedding, there are others whose automatic response to the designing of their wedding day, includes the words, ‘We want it very simple’, which has a myriad of meanings - if only one could recognize them.

There’s the obvious one. We haven’t got the money. We don’t want to waste the money that we do have. We don’t want to show off in front of friends who aren’t as well off as we are. But worst off all, is the one, we’d love to do something spectacular, but we don’t know that we can pull it off.

People like Whitman and Emerson might talk about authenticity of action, and being oneself. In real life, being oneself is probably the hardest thing in the world to practice. Quite often we’re not only defeated by our fears of others, but our fears of own limitations.

If there’s one day in anyone’s life where people have the right to be authentic and as vulgarly themselves as they choose, it should be their wedding day. If there’s one time that they should try to allow themselves to be themselves, bad taste and all, it is the day that they’re vowing to trust another human being with their frailty and weaknesses. If you’d love to do something extremely bizarre, but think Auntie would have a fit, do it anyway.

Heard of a really vulgar, ostentatious, off the world wedding celebration recently? Take off your hat to people who don’t mind being their real warty selves.

Vlady Peters is an Australian Civil Marriage Celebrant authorized to perform marriage in Australia. She also performs general ceremonies such as Baby Naming, Renewal of Vows and Commitment Ceremonies. To learn more about Vlady, visit her at http://www.weddings-celebrant.com

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Taking Your Cyber Relationship Offline
By Toni Coleman

Now that an online personal ad is an essential item in almost every dater’s tool kit, new questions are arising regarding the “right” way to take a cyber interest consisting of winks and emails to that first face to face encounter. While there is no one right way to accomplish this, the following tips touch on the important things to consider and address some of the most common questions and concerns voiced by virtual daters everywhere.

Carefully read over their profile and email before you agree to talk on the phone.

It’s important not to rush the process because they SOUND good on paper and seem to be what you are looking for. Read between the lines, look for inconsistencies and ask yourself if anything feels “off.” Then, address your concerns in your next email. It is not necessary to be confrontative or harsh, just open in your questions and observations. Keep your comments open-ended, which will help to keep things light and flowing between you- yet allow you to get the information you need. Too often the desire for a relationships overrides a person’s good judgment. If someone has real potential, they will not run away from respectfully voiced questions/concerns.

Don’t wait more than a few weeks before arranging your first meeting (date).

Unless there are very special circumstances, several weeks of emailing and phone calls should give both people enough information to decide whether they want to take the next step. If one person always has an excuse for why they cannot meet and/or is inconsistent in their communication or virtual availability - this is a red flag that should not be ignored. If distance is an issue, then this should be discussed upfront, and a plan for that first date should be included. Otherwise, you may find yourself in a holding pattern with someone who may not even be who they say they are and/or may be very different from what you had imagined from afar.

Don’t reveal too much personal information before you have had the chance to meet in person.

All you can be sure of is that SOMEONE is on the other end of these emails and phone calls. It will take time to experience them and evaluate your interactions as you look for inconsistencies and red flags as well as the positive traits/connections that you are looking for. As your comfort level increases and you begin to build some trust, you can slowly share more personal details. Besides, you need to save some things to talk about on your first date.

Agree to meet if everything feels right and you have no big reservations or concerns.

After a few weeks of getting to know someone online, it is time to make the call about moving forward or not. Your instincts will be your best guide here so let them weigh heavily in your decision. Since safety is always an issue, you should never ignore anything that makes you uneasy or uncomfortable. Also remember that you will not have the whole picture or know if the chemistry is truly right until you meet in person.

Practice safety and arrange meet in a public place the first time.

You may be old fashioned and believe that the man should pick up his date however- this is not a wise practice when you haven’t even met one another yet. So, choose a place where it is very open and there will be many people around. Also, for you women out there- consider parking in advance and if you will be required to park in a dark area or far away from the meeting place. If so, consider taking a cab. Depending upon how the date goes, you may want to go on from (for instance) coffee to dinner, or dinner to an after hours place for a drink and/or music. If so, take your own transportation there, or a cab together. Then, go home to your own place. If this is the right guy there will be many more dates to come.

Pick a venue that is both public and flexible.

Even if the person you have been corresponding to online and talking to by phone sounds perfect, you won’t really know if this is someone you will have the right chemistry with until you meet. Therefore, it is important to consider choosing that first meeting place with all scenarios in mind. For instance, if your first thoughts are about how fast you can comfortably excuse yourself, you will be miserable if you have committed to attending a professional ballgame, at a distance from home. However, if you meet at a nice coffee house and the date is going well, you can always decide to continue on to dinner, drinks, etc. Best times are lunch or late afternoon, which leave you an easy out or time to continue on.

If the date is going well, you will want to have some ideas in mind for how to continue it.

Bring along times for movies, names of clubs and featured entertainment, or ideas for a nice (close) place to get a bite. Always bring extra money and your cell.

Be prepared for how to say goodnight.

If the date went well, have a plan for how you can suggest the next meeting or talk about where to go from there. If necessary, practice some lines if you have difficulty talking about your feelings due to fears of rejection. It is often necessary to take a risk to get what you want. If the date is one you never want to repeat, you will need to find the words to gently communicate this. Honesty is not only a good thing it saves the other person from being left hanging and from repeated attempts to communicate with you-, which will be unpleasant for both of you. It is not necessary to be brutally honest about your feelings- just clear that the connection is not there for you and that you want to be upfront and open about this. They may react badly, but that will be the end of it.

Healthy, successful dating requires self-knowledge, maturity and a willingness to take risks and handle the disappointments and difficult moments that everyone needs to go through. If you truly want a relationship, you will be open to the good and bad that come with finding and creating one.

Toni Coleman, MSW is a psychotherapist, relationship coach and founder of http://www.consum-mate.com. As a recognized expert, Toni has been quoted in many local and national publications including The Chicago Tribune, The Orlando Sentinel, New York Daily News, Indianapolis Star and Newsweek newspapers and Family Circle, Cosmo Style, Tango, Men s Health, Star (regularly quoted body language expert), and People magazines. She has been featured on ABC news, Discovery Health, AOL news, MSN, and Match. Toni is also the featured relationship coach in “The Business And Practice Of Coaching,” ( Norton,September 2005) and is the author of the forward for,” Winning Points With The Woman In Your Life, One Touchdown At A Time” (Simon and Schuster, November 2005). From March 2005 until December 2005, she was a weekly contributing commentator (love and dating coach) on the KTRS Radio Morning Show, (St. Louis, MO). Toni is a member of The International Coach Federation, The International Association of Coaches and The National Association of Social Workers.

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Three Types of Seduction Techniques
By Teddy Shabba

Seduction techniques that men use to attract women they desire will vary from man to man, also most men will vary their seduction techniques depending on how they perceive the women they are trying to seduce.

In this article I am going to talk about three seduction techniques that most men usually fall in.

Charm/Flattery/ Technique- Most everyone should be familiar with this particular seduction technique as many men have been led to believe this is the most effective way to get a girl. Just in case you are not familiar with this seduction technique I will explain it.

A man using this seduction technique will flatter and a compliment a girl from the beginning and offer to take her places and in general spend a lot of money on her in the hopes that she will return his favors with some type of romantic affection.

In my opinion this is the weakest and least effective seduction technique that a man can try and use on a woman. Generally this seduction technique tells a woman that you have nothing of real value to offer her besides your money and if you re not in the high 6 or 7 figure income bracket your money isn t going to hold much value with a beautiful woman.

Hypnosis/NLP Seduction Technique- A majority of the books on Seduction will usually include some form of this seduction technique in there books. A variety of patterns and scripts that are designed to have women experience feelings of sexual excitement, attraction, and just about anything else that you want her to experience is the strength of this seduction technique. Now this technique works extremely well IF and I emphasize the word IF you have the self-confidence and congruency that is required to make it work not to mention gaining rapport with her in the first place. Many of the books and programs that teach this as a seduction technique fall short in truly explaining and teaching you this method. If as a man you hold the belief that you can t attract women and deserve women of high quality then purchasing a book or program that simply teaches you the seduction techniques of Hypnosis/NLP without changing your beliefs will be worthless.

ALPHA Male- More a way of life than a seduction technique, Alpha Male attracts and gets beautiful women because he knows that he deserves and expects quality beautiful women in his life. He might give gifts or even run patterns or scripts on the women in his life to create a sense of complete and total satisfaction in there life because this is what he has CHOSEN to do. At all times the choice is his because he has worked on his beliefs and inner-game so much that he knows it is his choice and his reality. Once you begin to realize the choice is your attracting women no longer because a matter of choosing the best seduction technique only a matter of choosing who.

Teddy Shabba is a Dating Coach for Men who has a daily newsletter that provides you with a wealth of information on how to be more successful with women. You can sign up for the Teddy Shabba Dating Advice Newsletter for Men now.

Also with over 500 articles from a variety of dating experts just for men our Dating Advice and Seduction Article Database is the perfect place for any man.

To learn more about Seduction Techniques visit our article section Seduce Women Today

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